Every morning awake up and throw upon my back my goals in life that weigh heavy on my mind and back. Unlike a lot of kids nowadays, i have no goal of being rich and or famous i have no need for that- my ultimate goal was is to find a women i can call my wife and have some kids and watch them grow up in a nice house that i'll be able to buy after college of course( to be a software engineer), i just want to live a nice relaxing life. Dreams wise i want to be writer on the side, all i want is to a least get published once i want to share my stories my image my ideas with other people, i want to inspire people like my favorite authors inspired me, to be recognized as a great writer, i mean i already know, but i would like others to know as well( but i don't want to be famous though, but if that happens to be well...).
Upon my back, that is but a straw away from breaking( get it?), is my number, of relationships that make me who i am. First and foremost is my mother ( i bet everyone says there mom), she's so dawn strong when i was i kid i though nothing could hurt her she was strength personified she wonder women and my views haven't changed in the slightest, she so powerful in mind and body( seriously, i wouldn't fight my mom she'd probably kill me), she is the beacon of shimmering light that keeps me steady in a sea of certainty and doubt, thought i occasionally do feel the urge to punch her in the face. Second is my sister, she just like my mom a strong women that would do anything for me, i'd do anything for her, just like brother and sister should we do fight but at the end of the day i'm so glad to have her in my life, i would won't anyone else. My brother my, my twin my other half, we're so much alike the things i see him do that i don't agree with i know i probably have the same faults and i work on them, my brother is my best friend, the closest person to me in my life, even i f have no one by my side i know i have him, no matter what, he's one of the few "men" i'd actually die for( that's great honor considering i believe i man has to able to protect himself, not to say women can't but your man, and the whole i don't plan on dying period). My father that haven't seen in four year, even though he abandoned us a few days after my birth day, when i turned twelve, i don't hate him i don't resent him, he the guy that made me me partially who i am, his unreachable expectations his swift painfully unbiased discipline, he the man that made me a kid the shoots for the moon and curses himself for landing on a cloud, he's my dad. Last but certainly not least my relationship with God, yup my faith his what keeps my going everyday the unyielding want to live everyday to please God in heaven after all it's least i can do, for someone that does believe i feel like just being alive just being able to back in the glory of life is the greatest gift ever given, and i thank him every day for every breath i take every step i take.
My personality i think is the biggest load i carry, it is very complicated. I may not be as quite as i let on class, i feel like in class i'm like a totally different person. Why? I couldn't tell you, because honesty i don't why, i can't help myself. But my legit personalty is a little bit of a clown, i like to see people life at my hands though i'm not willing to do anything i'll go a far way to make someone laugh especially if they look down, but i'm for the most part just a lay back dude. Adjective id use to describe myself happy, i like to look on the bright side things ( i friend of mines house go broken into, door broken down, clearly that's an opportunity to remodel), a little selfish, it's all about number one, and i guess reserved, i can't really express myself unless my close friends are around, but i'm trying to be past that i'm driven. But that;s just a short list.
Memories are those things that don't way a ton, but still manage to hunch you aver as your humping them(get it? Of course you do), you know. The memories that stays weighing me down are those of things I've lost more than the good ones. Memories of my brother, my dad and me driving around town on a Saturday afternoon, just because, my dad pointing out buildings he doesn't know the name of he'd look at him and i'd love him. I carry on my worn down back, memories of my former second best friend, the fun we had the games we played the times we had all gone. The other day i was listening to smash mouth's "All star" that just took me back made me melt into myself( if you know what i mean), i remembered everything from my childhood, and i almost cried( almost i'm a real man), for all the bad there is so much good. My memories are the lightest things upon my back, but hey are the most important, they take the most space but they my most cherished things, things i would never leave home without.
